I (34F) booked a vacation to Cyprus at an adults-only hotel. Now, don’t get me wrong—I adore kids (heck, most days I act like one). But I spent most of this summer babysitting and watching family members’ kids so they could have some “couples time” or just a break. So, I decided it might be nice to book a 5-star, adults-only hotel where I could relax after two months of running after nieces, nephews, and little cousins.
I managed to score a great deal and booked a week at the Amavi Hotel in Paphos for a ridiculously low price, including flights. While setting up this trip, my cousin (let’s call her DD) and her three kids were staying with me, since hotels in my area were insanely overpriced and I live in a vacation destination and a 4 min walk from the beach.
My cousin’s son (let’s call him Matt) overheard me telling a friend about my trip—how everything was booked and we (my boyfriend and I) were all packed. He immediately ran to his mom and asked if they could come with me. Without thinking, DD said, “Of course we can! Your auntie will find us a great deal, and we’ll all fly out together!”
I was dumbfounded. I pulled DD aside and explained the deal was for an adults-only couples hotel because I wanted to spend quality time with my boyfriend. We’d both been extremely busy with work, apartment hunting, and me babysitting kids all summer. DD just shrugged and said, “Well, then just call the company and switch hotels; what’s the problem?”
I told her I wasn’t switching—my hotel was part of the special deal. I even offered to help her find a family-friendly hotel and gave her options. She looked, then turned to me and said, “Wait, but if you won’t be at the hotel, who will help me with the kids?”
I said, “I don’t know—get a babysitter, bring your mother, discipline the kids so they behave better, or pick one.” She got upset and called me rude and selfish. She claimed that since I don’t have kids, I don’t understand how important vacations are for parents and that she deserved a break too.
I reminded her I’d been watching her kids every day after work for the past 4 days while she was staying at my place—so she was already getting a break.
Her response? “So what, I have to be with them all the time. The least you can do is help out once in a while. You’re not married, you have no kids, and you basically have nothing to do with your day.”
And this is where I may have been the AH. I told her flat out that I don’t owe her anything. I was already doing her a favor by letting her and her kids stay at my place since they couldn’t afford $500/night hotels. I am not her child care.
Then I asked how she expected to afford a vacation like mine when she couldn’t afford a hotel in our own country—especially with 3 kids. Her answer? “You guys can just pay, and I’ll pay you back when I have it. I mean, you don’t have kids, and your boyfriend makes great money. Tell him to pay for us; he won’t mind.”
I don’t know if entitlement was on sale that day or if there was a clearance on audacity, but I wasn’t having it. I told her she must be high if she thought we were going to pay for her and three kids. She got upset, packed her stuff, and left to stay with my mom, as I was being a bad host.
An hour later, I get a call from my mom and her mom, asking how I could “kick her out at night with 3 kids.” (It was 6pm, and she left voluntarily.) I explained everything, but they sided with her and told me I should just pay. I told them if they wanted her to go on vacation so badly, they could fork out the $4,000 and babysit too.
Later, my mom called back after learning DD twisted the story, claiming I was flaunting my money and vacation in front of her kids to make her look like a bad mom. (For the record, I work 10–12 hour days and hardly have money to spare.) My mom tried to keep the peace but eventually realized I wasn’t budging.
Then last night, I learned from my boyfriend that after leaving, DD actually called our travel company and tried to switch my hotel booking to a family hotel, adding a suite for her and her kids, plus business-class flights. She even lied, saying I wanted to cancel my trip to spend time with her. The agent thankfully called my boyfriend to double-check.
For context: my boyfriend is extremely generous—the kind of person who would literally give his coat, hat, and shoes to someone freezing in the street (and did, literally, last winter). If I had asked, he probably would have paid for her vacation without hesitation. But since she was being so entitled, I refused to even bring it up. She’s already raising her kids to be entitled, and I wasn’t about to enable it.
