My husband keeps sharing things with others that I’m uncomfortable with. Am I wrong to be upset with him? For background, I have AuDhd and communication is not my strong suit when I’m overwhelmed/burnt out which I currently am (holidays+3 young kids + no help + financial stress). I know this contributes to issues and I take responsibility for that.
But for example, he told his sister I didn’t like her Xmas gift. She sent me something expensive but very obviously not my style (not her style either tbh)— think a pair of Doc Martins for someone who only wears Chanel flats/a wetsuit for someone who only skis. If you know me at all, it was very clearly something I would never use. It was an unusually generous gift and my husband and I both figured she’d had a gift card for this store.
My husband and I laughed about it, and I’ll admit I was a bit puzzled/annoyed but didn’t really let it bother me – it’s the thought that counts.
Cut to my SIL calling a few weeks later asking me to send her back the gift and she’d get me something else. I was taken aback to say the least and made up an excuse about it not fitting and I was already in the exchange process. I cut the call short and quickly texted my husband asking if he had talked to his sister.
Turns out he flat out told his sister I didn’t like the gift. This isn’t the first time he’s done something like this- shared things with friends or family member that I thought were between us. I’m uncomfortable and embarrassed. I’m a justified being upset with him? Did he cross a line or was he just being honest with his sibling? Is this more a me issue?
This is a small example, but the most recent. I’m no longer comfortable openly sharing my thoughts and feelings with him, knowing they’re not necessarily going to be kept in confidence…but maybe I need to be clear with him about what he shouldn’t repeat?
